Tag: God

I am a Father of Smiles!

I am a creator, of smiles. I have birthed thousands of smiles which otherwise might have gone unborn. It makes me feel almost Godlike to be this source of creation.

Here is the context for this seemingly inflated statement. I am riding my bicycle about 3-4 hours most days of the year. While doing so, I usually smile at everybody that passes me going the other way. That would be anywhere from 100 people to hundreds of runners, bikers and walkers.

Almost none of these people has a smile on their face before I smile at them. Almost all seem surprised I smiled at them. But here is the good part. About 30% smile back despite the fact that they had no intention of smiling at that moment. And so I say without fear of rebuttal that I caused them to smile. But for my action of smiling at them, no smile would come into the world at that time. It is a delicious feeling to bring people to a smile.

Although the majority of folks do not smile in response, there is another category of folks I want to talk about. They are the nodders. They do not smile but they do nod in response to my smile. They may account for another 20% of the folks I smile at.

To be frank, I am quite pleased with my record. Many of you know that I refer to biking as miles and miles of smiles. Such a mix of people too. Dog walkers, bike racers and recreational riders, runners and many pedestrians just strolling the pathway. Special treat, the sometimes smile and laugh of children.

I also have a bell and/or air horn on my bikes. The bell is used to indicate I am going to pass people in front of me going in the same direction, that I intend to pass them on their left. It often brings smiles to those going in my direction. The horn, used sparingly often gets people to leap out of my way in fright, but just as often people smile at how loud the horn sounds. (There are many folks who are wearing earbuds or headsets and listening to something who cannot seem to hear me yelling a warning or the ring of the bell). I am very sparing of the horn when there are animals around, pets and wildlife. But children also get a break from the sudden use of my air horn which I try only to use at distance from the human obstacles. On the other hand, children at a distance (playing in the park or walking to school) get a quick toot of the horn as I find they inevitably smile at the sound.

There are many users of the trails who have a stern look on their faces as they approach, each lost in their own thoughts and struggles. Many are determined not to make eye contact, as if they believe that acknowledging another person would disrupt their focus. So sometimes I have to shout a hello to them to break their will not to acknowledge me, hoping to elicit a smile or at least a nod in response. My friend Chris says maybe they look like that because they are in pain and discomfort from their exercise, pushing through the fatigue of their workout. It’s interesting how a simple greeting can transform the atmosphere, turning a solitary endeavor into a small moment of connection.

Me, I am having fun most of the time when I bike or hike or walk. Even if I am not enjoying myself, I try to smile to others. Just seems like the right thing to do!

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Right Action for me, today, in this moment.

I had a chat with a friend this morning. The subject of truth-telling came up. I advised that since I took Buddhist vows I have not lied. The Buddhist vows or “precepts” are as follows

1. Panatipata veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami: I observe the precept of abstaining from the taking of life.

2. Adinnadana veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami: I observe the precept of abstaining from stealing or taking that which is not freely given.

3. Kamesu micchacara veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami: I observe the precept of abstaining from sexual misconduct.

4. Musavada veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami: I observe the precept of abstaining from lying or gossip.

5. Suramerayamajjapamadatthana veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami: I observe the precept of abstaining from intoxicants.

Since I declared my intention to practice Buddhism I have tried to adhere to these vows. I fail at times but not for lack of trying. Neither I nor anyone in my immediate family has purposely violated the first precept and so much as killed an insect since we formally took the precepts.

Why would a Jewish-American choose the practice of Buddhism? Why would a man with my history undertake any religious practice?  I heard the Buddhist pronouncement that life was suffering. As Bhikkhu Bodhi wrote “The search for a spiritual path is born out of suffering. It does not start with lights and ecstasy, but with the hard tacks of pain, disappointment, and confusion. However, for suffering to give birth to a genuine spiritual search, it must amount to more than something passively received from without. It has to trigger an inner realization, a perception which pierces through the facile complacency of our usual encounter with the world to glimpse the insecurity perpetually gaping underfoot. When this insight dawns, even if only momentarily, it can precipitate a profound personal crisis. It overturns accustomed goals and values, mocks our routine preoccupations, leaves old enjoyments stubbornly unsatisfying.”

I experienced this and now I confine myself to behaviors and undertakings which increase the likelihood of success without regret. That would be success without the accompanying dissatisfaction at having had to harm anyone financially, psychologically and emotionally. I live with those very type of regrets as relates to my 2 former spouses and anyone else who drew close enough to my flame to get burned.

It is 20 years ago today that I was wed to now ex-wife Laurie. I would have to look far and wide to find someone more deserving of  great kindness and happiness. Despite believing that, I let myself slowly drift from the straight and narrow and into a spiritual abyss which I did not escape from for many years. I can say with certainty that she gave me every opportunity and resource to live a normal rich and rewarding existence. She offered solid ground upon which love could thrive. So here is what I learned. I had demons which lurked, waiting always to undermine good choices. I had unresolved issues which were always waiting to manifest in my behaviors. I had mental-illness ready to unravel any progress I might exercise.

And but for 2 little girls, now my daughters, who needed me less than I needed them, I would have spun out. But God gave me strength of character to protect the weak and needy. While my attributes were inadequate to bring me salvation, my resolve to act honorably was resolute enough to bring me to a place of willingness to take the actions needed to protect them.

Thus is born the seeds of sobriety and Buddhism in my spirit.