Talking with my pal Joe Peek this morning about how I really enjoyed intimidating bullies when I was younger, (up until about 6 months ago). When friends or strangers got bullied I liked intervening. My friend Lynda Christmann Nauseda was being messed with when we were young and she was a visitor to the south side of Chicago from the burbs. Somebody figured that made her fair game for hassling. (Always check who is around before you start messing with folks. Never know who is looking out for whom if you do not properly scope the situation.)
He didn’t ever wish to hassle Lynda again. And the thing is, I am smaller than most bullies. Truth, I was never that strong in my teen years. Honestly, I felt scared when I injected myself into situations. But I was compelled to do it. I never really felt it was a choice. It just had to be done. I didn’t need to be big and muscular. All it took to stop most bullies was someone who had the fortitude to step up.
I once intervened with some young military guys playing cards on Amtrak. They were listening to an old drunk former marine spout racist crap. I injected myself from across the railroad car into their conversation and chastised the older marine for his language and cautioned him not to use the word again. The best part was the young guys thanking me later on for what I did. I think once the crowd thins most men will act responsibly. But so many men find it so difficult to oppose the group. They lose themselves in the crowd. Then there are those who are just plain mean. But while they may have a mental affliction which deprives them of empathy for the victim, they will draw strength and encouragement from the crowd. Take away the followers and you begin to suck the life out of the gang mentality.
Where is an anti-bullying program run by ex-bullies? Why do the TV ads use people like movie stars and Shaquille O’Neal? Get me your most macho ex-con. Get me the former bullies. I say, record advertisements about bullying with the guys who know how a bully thinks. Victims making videos about bullying are just reaching other potential victims. That does not influence the bully. Time to get to the bullies. Teach them how to “man up”. Teach them to speak up. Empower them to say or do what goes against the grain, something you would not like saying or doing it and it is not what you would usually say or do.
Want to know who influenced me to do the right thing? Guys who could bully others but didn’t. Scary guys who stood up for those in no position to defend themselves. They taught me what I could do. I role modeled them. Know my favorite anti-bullying technique, not recommended for the weak of heart? Raise the level of intimidation to a higher intensity. I used to reply to bullies with an attitude of, you want aggression, I’ll show you aggression. You want intimidation, let me show you intimidation. Of course I tended to also role modeled my heroes propensity to commit crimes, but that is a story already told. Scroll the Internet and you will see what videos there are which are intended to prevent bullying. http://www.pacer.org/bullying/video/
Bully prevention does not have to be about being nice. It should be about not being mean. It shouldn’t be about helping the kid getting bullied. It should be about how uncool it is to be the bully. I carry a gun because the nice policeman won’t be there when I need him. So, it is nice the policeman will come when called but better yet, I do not want to need the police.
These videos are very sweet and are voiced by lovely young people, behavioral experts and celebrities. Screw that! If you use celebrities, try using Danny Trejo or Esai Morales in a commercial. or
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That gets my attention. Drive a stake through the vampire’s heart. Shoot the zombie in the head. Then maybe I can retire peacefully from the need to stop the bully. Maybe the next time, his pals stop him dead in his tracks before there is a real victim. Hey, just my humble opinion. Remember, be humble, you may be wrong.
Too bad you don’t bother to read posts and reply two years later isn’t it? No you revived this troll. She has been attacking me on Facebook and on my WordPress for three years. I blocked her just as I commented. Unfortunately she keeps opening accounts with different names. My name is mine hers is not Free Speaking. Look on my blog I tagged her once to answer her accusations. She still won’t stop.
So there you are. I think you acted irresponsibly. If you think that is ok it is your blog do what you like. I won’t be following. I will also be careful who I reblog in future as she follows me.
I will delete everything either of you has said. Threatening me is tiresome. Now you seek to bully me. Perhaps you are the bully. I do not know you and have never intended you harm. Threats are unwelcome here.
Nobody is threatening you. I am protecting myself. Your deletion is welcome and I think would be the honorable thing to do.
You are not wrong, In fact what you say is true. I have myself been trying to protect people from bullies for most of my life. My mom and dad brought me up to look after myself and to not let anybody beat me down. I hate seeing bullies picking on people who are weaker, or not so smart as they are, but it usually only happens when the bully has a gang protecting them. Put them on their own, and oh dear, Are you picking on me? They are basically cowards, and need to be stopped dead in their tracks. Love your blog sugar.
Reblogged this on Marilyn Munrow and commented:
You are not wrong, In fact what you say is true. I have myself been trying to protect people from bullies for most of my life. My mom and dad brought me up to look after myself and to not let anybody beat me down. I hate seeing bullies picking on people who are weaker, or not so smart as they are, but it usually only happens when the bully has a gang protecting them. Put them on their own, and oh dear, Are you picking on me? They are basically cowards, and need to be stopped dead in their tracks. Love your blog sugar.
Reblogged this on galesmind and commented:
Most bullies are cowards I find. I end up in the middle of social media bullying where people hide behind pages and walls and go after those that are too weak to speak up. If you go after them the trolls get worse as a lot of them get off on this stuff. How would you handle those?? I am curious. As for real life bullies damn. Good for you so many just sit by and let it happen. If we all speak out and don’t stand for it there is a chance it will stop. Kids lose their lives and self esteem to these fools we need more education in schools probably by people just like you. Thanks for speaking out.
I am always apprehensive about Internet bullies. I had a radio show years ago and became the target of some haters who wreaked havoc on my website. The hacking community justified it as exposing weaknesses in my security. I have not been attacked in social media to any large extent and I simply blocked the worst of breed. As you note, virtual bullies are a problem because they are getting off on it and unlike physical bullies you cannot always identify them. But I have unloaded on some men who challenged me on Facebook and did so just like we were on the street and backed them down. How so, expose them as talking not walking the challenge. But a troll is a thing to be leery of inciting for sure.
I find the same blocking is like shutting off their air supply. If you give it back it just feeds them. Trolls live for that attention My suspicion is these are people that get no attention otherwise.
Thanks for reblogging my posts.
What gale meant to say was that she is a bully and I know because I am the one she bullies. Constantly having pathetic digs at me and posting lies as above.
I basically did what you did and stood up for her last victim, tgat and her friend sending dirty messages to my husband stood me right in line for her abuse. For almost two years she has posted lies and insults about me. Contacting people who I knw and am related to for the purpose of turning them against me. Her and her little group of fellow bullies even stole my wedding pictures to use to ridicule me on public websites.
They contacted my work trying to get me fired and even repeatedly telephoned one of my area managers believing wrongly he was my husband. They are sad little old ladies who have nothing better to do than spread lies whilst pretending to be whiter than white. They’ll say this reply will go into their police file which is absolute rubbish. They could never bring a case against me because they are the guilty party.
Thank you